I wonder..

"It was a nice day.. we visited lot of places.. I shall never forget this.. "
I was thanking Noushad sitting right opposite to IIT-D campus..
(An auto driver in Delhi.. with whom I had developed a jocund company..Just in three days we had developed a good rapport among ourselves..)

"Thank you sirji.." there came a modest reply from him..

after a brief silence..

"Delhi is a nice place.. But I have noticed one thing.. all the shopkeepers look at me as if I belong to a different planet..Is this, after effect of the Mumbai carnage?" I simply inquired..
"Of-course people are scared.. and police have asked them to keep a vigil on all tourists.. and strangers.." he was mocking at me..

"Hmmm... the attack on Taj was really bad..I think it was a worst attack on us.. "
He literally jumped on hearing those words..

"Oh! really.. (there was a sarcasm in his voice...).. there are much worse terror attacks in India..

Dec 13, 2001, there was attack on our Parliament.. which is considered as the heart of Indian Democracy...

We had the attack on Akhsardham temple.. Mumbai serial blast in 2003... and again there was a blast in Delhi.. killing more than 200 people.. attack on IISc the ugly face of terror showed up again in Mumbai serial blasts this time in suburban train. There are innumerable such attacks in Kashmir and North East. (Truly I had forgotten many of these.)


Very few remember these.. might be because.. all those who suffered there dead or alive are expendable... We are lethargic and hesitant to act. One of the reason could be, we have men in uniforms who are ready to give their lives for our mistakes.. And the best part is still we do not have a piece of land to build a memorial for them..but still we say Jai Jawan isn't that funny" his sarcastic smile still prevailed.


Trying to calm him down "Look how much we are moving ahead.. I am sure after this things will get better... don't worry.." I ate away last few words..

He almost shouted on hearing this.. "After this.. It is people with such mindset who are spoiling this beautiful country.. they follow armchair criticism doing nothing just sit and criticize.... its easy to say all these until and unless you have lost some one.. I have lost my entire family in one such attack..

Do you know what happened then?.. one crazy politician drops at your door step for publicity stunt with entire media and proclaims, I can understand your feelings.. better than anyone and I don't want any bastards feelings or sympathy but instead. I need justice... justice.. and justice alone."

On listening to all these I was puzzled..Now I could clearly see tears in his eyes..He was emotional.. His voice is completely chocked.. I could barely hear him.

"People say Pak is a threat to India.. China is a threat to India.. but the real threat is within us... though in 21st century we still have a medieval mindset...Hindu Muslim.. Bihari.. Madrasi.. and what not....When ever there is any attack on us.. Our leaders shamelessly look up to other countries for help. They do their best (other countries) by funding our rivals who in turn funds terrorist..We need a cricket match to realize, we are Indians or else another attack.. "


I maintained pin drop silence... and gave him all the time.. and after an hour we departed..

Now.. again back in bangalore I still wonder..at the conversation that I had..

Note
Noushad: A software professional who lost his entire family in one such attack.. and during my visit he was working as a auto driver...who is looking forward to settle down in Goa.. (I wonder why he took up that job-- auto driver.. )

Fight fight and fight....

Fight.. fight and fight..


As kids we all fight.. even I had some fights of my own..

But I always remember this one.. It was a Saturday.. I always want to play on Saturday and Sunday as days like these comes only once in a week..

"Come on.. it already late..." it was a desperate me shouting at my friend. It was a cool Saturday we are on our way to ground to play cricket.. It was a time cricket was not only a passion but my life..

"Look today I am going to bat first.. and I will bat like Sachin today.."It was my friends brother.. happily seated on a bicycle..
Trust me, had he remained at the crease for the second ball that was indeed a big deal...

All of a sudden someone held my friends bicycle and pulled his brother down..

"what do you want" he asked in a state of shock
thud!!! came a punch in reply..There was no talking only action.. pure actions...

Seeing his brother getting roughed up
In a wild tone "My anna is a super man..Don't mes with him" it was his never relenting brother..and to his surprise.. the superman was receiving blows after blows...

Without knowing how to react I was standing like a statue.. a fellow kicked my cycle.. and knocked me down...I decided... it is better to give a first short than getting it...

I clenched my fist and with my full might, gave a good blow.. right on to his jaws..

There was a cry of pain that brought me back to sense... I opened my eyes only to see a room completely dark... and to add to my horror the cousin who slept beside me is now lying on the floor and bawling in pain..

with out knowing how to react.. I switched on the light and gave him a smile..That was the most awkward thing to do at that moment..

All my cousin brother did was he slept at a safe distance.. that is out of my arms reach

Even today... when I think of fight,, this is the first thing that comes into my mind..I feel so sorry for my cousin...even now..

How Could I forget this day..

“Are you liking it….. I think its too salty….” I was trying to tease my princess.
"I am loving it... Do you like to have some... "She was enjoying .. a bowl of sundae all for herself. She spent next few minutes.. trying to feed me some... and nearly half of it was on my face.. with all the colorful creams, I looked liked a Kathakali artist.

On our way back home .. All of the sudden ....

"I want to buy a gift.."
"Gift.."... I asked in total confusion...
but by just looking at her face.. I could never say no... moreover... I have never turned down any of her request..

At Archie's...

On that particular day I had the pleasure of being a doorman, nearly for an hour.. She was never letting me in.. Through the door I could see how my little mouse, was sneaking every look and corner for the gift..

I forced myself in when she was at the cash counter....
"Can I have a look at your gift..Please"
I got the ready made answer "No"saying this, she hid her new found gift so well that I could clearly see that it was a red color clock.. which had the shape of an apple, a beautiful one indeed

"Its 353 Sir"... Cashier..
As I was pulling out few hundred rupee notes..
"I shall pay the bill...." and she pulled out her beautiful purse, All I could see was a two, ten rupee notes.. and many coins in it. She started to pick the coins one by one. To make things easy for her, I simply collected 3 three rupees from it..
"That's it.. that's the cost of your gift.."

As we reached near the house .. stopped.. again..

"Now, what .. you want to go somewhere else.. "I asked with a cunning smile..but this time...my darling was serious.. she came closer and shouted...
"Happy Birthday,...This is for you .. please open it and say how the gift is"

I collected it though it was not my birthday..
My brain was flooded with emotions ... and eyes was so moist..that I could barely see her.. My heart was so overjoyed.. There was a big lump in my throat and I was unable to speak... with so much of emotions at a time.. I was confused..

I did the simplest thing.. just lifted her up.. Only to be hugged again...and trying to keep her close to my heart.. I started to walk again...


It was that day I realized how good one feels when some one express their liking or love...

He was bogged down by fear

"Prashanth, Tomorrow is 13th, July right .. It is my friends birthday.." it was Pradeep.. who is always looking for treats..

All of a sudden something struck my mind... when I heard 13th July..


How could I forget this day.. on that particular day everything was going.. the other way round for me..

I was working on something and I was disturbed.. this time.. the culprit was my nokia mobile..I attended it to here a a stern voice "Hello sir, please stay online... you have a call"

Before I could say something... there was a brief silence.....after a few seconds

There was a voice from another end.."Hey, chootu, how are you.."It was Ashok.. oh... no its Captain Ashok.. I recognized him in a split second
"I am fine.. how are you..."
It was a month since he called.. me all I know was he was posted in some troubled area..

"So, solider whats with you"I continued..
"You know yesterday was a great day.. .. " there was something strange in his voice..
"Come on say me what was it..".. I know he was trying to cover up something


"Its an Army thing.. I don't know whether you can understand.. or not.. there was an attack on my convoy.."on hearing this I was half dumb..I was not sure that, I heard the rest completely..but he was continuing..
"We chased them... and returned it back.. in short all those culprits were killed.."as far as I am concerned I was happy to know that he was safe..

He took a deep breath.. and continued..
"They did not go like that..instead gave us a good fight and... I got a gift too..two bullets in my arms.. " he started.. of without allowing me to speak..

"It is a great feeling to to be hit.. I still went after them... I was with my men.. until we cleared all"
taking a long break he started again..
"I feel that.. I am a soldier now.." I was clear now... something.. wasn't right with him

I interrupted, to know how he was feeling..

"What was the first thing that came to your mind, when you knew that you were hit?"
"I need to protect my men.. this was the only thing.. nothing more.."he stopped abruptly

"I am calling you with a request now.. "
On hearing this, my worst fears were out..
"If something happens to me please.. take care of my parents... I know you will..but I am just..I don't know.. what to say"..he was struggling for words.. still I never interrupted.. instead.. wanted him to pour out his feelings..

"Look I have take up this job.. Out of my interest and against my parents wishes..but I have an immerse pleasure in doing this.. and I believe you are the only one whom I can speak upto.. you are the only crazy guy whom I know.. "Some where some thing was hurting me..
"Come on man.."please do not say all these...trying to control my emotions..


He started it all again with much more vigor
"Listen to me..Please listen to me... let me complete it.. please allow me.. this time I survived.... I do not know what will happen next time..if something happens please say my dad.. I always looked upto him... and say my mom I love her the most.. inform Neethu that I love her.."


This not the way I am supposed to talk..and I changed...I started talking tough..(it was a lengthy conversation,let me summaries it for u all)
"You are a soldier.. and you are not supposed to speak like this..I know you have a joined there with a zeal.. and you were saying something about death right... listen to this properly... you are a soldier whom I look upto... whom the nation looks upto...


There is a saying.. and it goes like this..when some one dies do not cry at his grave instead be happy that you were lucky to live with these great men.
.
.

and I love to follow it.. "
there was a silence for long.. and he broke it again...

"Prashanth, I love you all.. shall call you tomorrow morning.."Till date I don't know what are the impact of my words.. but he did call me in the morining.. to say how good he felt..

And, I don't know.. what made me say all these.. but I did..


"Where are u lost.."it was these words..of Pradeep..
which again brought me back..

My Morning.. walks...

From past few days..I have started Jogging..
Let me put it this way.. I am forced.. to do it.. and for me usually it is a sleep walk..


In the mornings I get to meet a lot of energetic people.. Who are in their late 50,60....These energetic people do all sorts of exercise like running, walking, some times even jumping....Standing there I wonder, will I be able to do those things...


From the day one ..I have been noticing an elderly couple..They walk for some time.. and later on they sit on a bench clasping their hands together... For an onlooker it seems they are meeting for the first time..


Now I stand there gazing my future, how will our old age be ? (provided I live so long)

Here is some thing for those two love birds...

I still feel the same for you..


waiting at the bench...I am here for you..
walking towards me aren’t you..
you still have the same dazzling smile..
which made my heart leap towards you..
oh! my lady I still feel the same for you..
oh! my lady I still feel the same for you..


The way you walk the way you sit..
and I was impressed by it...
the smile of yours make's me delight
why don't you sit beside me and make my day bright ?
so that I can get my troubles outright..
oh! my lady I still feel the same for you..
oh! my lady I still feel the same for you..



life seems beautiful... when you sit by me
its a wonderful feeling, to have you beside me..
I still haven’t forgotten, how I approached you..
now all those seems a bit funny for me.. How's that for you?
I still remember the first touch of your's..
followed by a passionate kiss
oh! my lady I still feel the same for you..
oh! my lady I still feel the same for you..



You looked wonderful as my bride..
and much better when you had my child ..
we walked around with pride..
sent our son to school and to college
to make his future secure and bright..
while we struggled through our life, with all our might
I grumbled.. I fumed.. you still struck around by my side..
oh! my lady I still feel the same for you..
oh! my lady I still feel the same for you..



Brought a sweet house.. for you..
And a brand new car..and that too for you...
time passed by.. I realized that, when kids called me grandpa
I can see the hardship on your face…
but by then, everyone says that I am aged..
I still feel young when you are by my side..
With you beside me... I still have one thing to say
"come on, lets go and start life all over again"..

oh! my darling you are still the same

oh! my lady I still feel the same for you..
oh! my lady I still feel the same for you..